woman's instinct

oops, i did it again. walang kadala-dala. pero ito wala kong karapatan kasi wala naman. haha! dapat talaga, nakinig ako sa instincts ko...inde na talaga uso benefit of the doubt dapat!

ulit pa ng ulit si kuya kagabi, sabi na ngang wag pag-usapan...kasi wala naman...tapos inde ko pa kilala yung babae na sinasabi nila, well...yung likod nya kilala ko haha! at malamang hindi nya rin ako kilala. di ba? atsaka kahit si bulilit burger, wala naman e..so dapat inde na pagusapan, kasi wala nga! ayan, naupset tuloy ako. wala na dapat sakin yun e. Except dun sa text galore grabe ha! well inde na dapat biggie saken yun kasi hello inde naman sya ipinunta ko dun, inde ko nga akalain na andun sya e...pero kasi inulit-ulit pa nila. Pero first time ever may nangganun saken. Dangness, hindi nya kelangan ipamukha saken na boring ako...edi umalis sya, inde naman namin sya tinawag...ano gusto nya ba palabasin? na gwapo sya? grabe pag nilapitan nya, benta sya agad?! well, i sort of likeD him pa naman na...ayan hirap saken e, ang bilis e. haha!

tignan mo, akala namin nagbago na si Barbs, nanggulo nanaman sa angkan! Grrr...pinatuloy namin sya ng maayos dito ah kahit na itinakbo nya yung pinagbentahan ng town and country noon...sabi kasi ni mommy palagpasin na kasi pera lang yun. pero ito, he did it again! people don't change, they just change their tactics. parang ako, tamad pa rin...hehehe shopaholic pa rin, nagiba lang ng hilig. hay! nagdrama pa sya dito, nagiiiyak, naawa pa ko sakanya...yun pala TOTOO naman mga bintang sakanya. GRRRR...gullible kasi kami ni mommy tsaka bilis maawa e. hay! sinasabi ko na nga ba, imposible magbago yun...benefit of the doubt pa rin nangibabaw...

i['m back! i'm back! oooh lala i'm back!

oh well, just got home from the first game of the best of 3 of UE vs DLSU, wherein DLSU won. I'm not an Archer fan pero ayoko manalo UE! haha!

Haha! As some you guys have seen my new uploaded pictures on Friendster, my hair is almost 7" shorter, ooh lala tikwas ito! haha! grrr...hate it, actually. Will never ever go back to Piandre for my haircut ever again, i'll stick to *eerrr forgot his name! basta ung sa manila pen, atsaka ung stylist na lopez ang surname* karma siguro sa buhok ko yun, kasi majinbu complimented my hair e, then ayun...

syet, usapang kasawian nanaman! Buwiset...sinasabi ko na nga ba, he's no different, lalo na dating baller, malamang! pero nagpadala pa din..sooo stupid. naniwala pa ko sa pinagsasasabi nya, syet. i should've known better no. dat talaga naniwala ko sa unang naisip ko, parang pag nanghuhula ako sa exams. haha. syet, syet, syet!

ayan pula kasi madugo...dumudugo utak ko. hahaha syet syet syet

...so i figured

"ang babaw no? pwede naman ako magpaload"

yeah, hindi n'ya na lang derechohin na, "ayaw na kita itext e."

so why does he bother talking to me thru ym? para hindi s'ya ung lumabas na bad guy, instead e ginagawa nya ung mga bagay para mainis ako, ako na lang ung kusang lumayo? is that it? kinausap ko sya about it, pero deny pa rin. hai...texted him last night, and he didn't even bother to explain.

anyway, just got back from gateway para lang bumili ng pang-shave. ha-ha! 1st time ko magsheshave ng legs kasi i have it waxed by a pro...e kaso i burnt the skin on my right leg due to the DIY wax stunt i pulled last night. nagmarunong, sayang tuloy yung wax, 900 buckeroos down the drain...and sa laki ng bill ko last night, my mom won't give me my "pondo" na, so i've to settle for shaving. plus, hindi na pwede iwax kasi burnt na. kakatakot baka masugat ko naman sarili ko this time. haha! tsaka baka mag-ala cactus ung regrowth. scary! hahaha! kainis, hirap maging babae. buti pa sa guys, pangit pag walang legs sa hair...mas type ko ung hairy legs. hahaha! yoko lang ng hairy chest. ung arms, oks oks lang. ayoko ng kalbo ung legs e. parang native na native ung dating. hehe. tsaka feeling ko mas babae pa sakin. yoko nga. toinks.\

moving along...nakashades ako kanina haha makulimlim naman, hanggang sa loob ng mall pa! mukha tuloy ako nag-drugs kagabi. erk. as if i would even dare to try [drugs]. with matching ceu pe shorts na ala-metroaide at tshirt na nag-discolor na...at ang hair, uncombed ponytail-ed do...fashionistang-fashionista! hahahaha! double erk. haha!

uulan kaya mamaya? instead of staying at home and agonize, i decided to go to oj's birthday...eh un din naman excuse ko sa mga nagaya ng lakad for tonight, "baka kasi pumunta ako sa birthday ng ate ni *". eh at least birthday pa rin. harhar

random lang to

grabe kung magkalat ang condoms at PT kits nowadays no? wala lang...parang nakakaescandalo lang. hehe. oh well, proud to be a virgin pa rin naman ako kaya siguro ganun...basta parang sobrang lantaran na yung premarital sex. hehe. parang okay na lang sya, hindi na sya issue...im not saying na hindi ako maiinvolve sa ganun, malay naten, di ba? pero for now, wala kong balak. hehehehe.

grocery

went to the grocery with my mom kanina, and spent 3 hours of hila do'n, hila dito ng mga bagay na 'di ako sure kung kelangan ko. haha! basta most of 'em are kiss my face stuff...dami kong conditioner na nahila pala, all 5. 4 of 'em are kiss my face and one is brown ekek, forgot. bango kasi e. tapos hindi naman ako gumagamit ng bodywash, humila din pala ako nun, ung anti-stress, kiss my face uli. eh inde naman ako dapat maarte sa ganung bagay, kung ano ilagay ni mommy sa banyo, yun na yun. tapos may hand cream, body butter, dyi wax kit na di ko alam pano gamitin (sa salon ako nagpapawax eh), at kung anu-ano pa...dami ko rin pinaghihilang pagkain, tsokolate, pati local! hahaha! at syempre, nakapagtakas ako ng mudslide, tequila rose at absolut kurant! hahahaha! wawa naman yung nanay ko nagbayad...sakin palang daw yun...oh well, that's how i deal with errr...i dunno what to call this "feeling" i have e. hahaha! if i can't go shopping, sa grocery ako manggugulo. para kong si cristina yang na hila na lang ng hila ng kung ano...akala mo 1st time nakapasok ng grocery. haha! pati kleenex dami ko kinuha...para tuloy ako magbubukas ng mini kikay shop. haha! sayang di ko napuslit mascara at blush on (may max factor at l'oreal pa naman sa shopwise, shiznits...kung may paul & joe at chanel dun, kumuha na ko ng pressed powder. ubos na e) pero sa dinami-dami ng pinaghihila ko, feeling ko may kulang pa sa mga nabili ko. haha. syet. i hate this feeling...

parang kagabi til kanina, parang kong may general anesthesia, tapos ngayon nagwewear off na, nafeefeel ko na yung kung ano man to. hahaha.

nakakaekek pa kasi super christmas songs naaaaa tinutugtog nila!! huhuhu...

cheap thrill

as we all are aware, guys are always up for it, cheap thrill...hello! they see and treat women as sexual objects. okay, guys, look at ur momma's please and think about it...ayos ba? okay maybe some girls are willing to be part of the thrill, but i, for one, am not. i am more than just a cheap thrill. so please, spare me. thank you.

sabaw

nasasabaw utak ko, promise. as in. hindi ko maisip ano nafeefeel ko...one thing's clear, sakit jaw ko. haha! syet sarap tumawa...kung totoong tawa.



usap kasabawan tayo...sinamahan ko si tita sa CMC kanina, hehe haba ng hair ko! wala lang. kapal ko talaga...hehe meron medyo cute na nurse sa ER. Pero mas cute ung nurse nung nagduty kami dati, 5th flr ata sya. haha! atsaka ung xray tech..hahaha! oh well, ayun, trying to distract myself with the kacuteness ng mga guys. kasi feeling ko lumulutang ako, parang naglalakad sa nothingness, parang nasa limbo. haha!



so ayun, as i'm typing right now, si andoy at pao eh nagaaya uminom...hai. ayoko. hindi pa pwede...atsaka sus aasarin nanaman nila ko kay jay, e over na ko dun. though okay lang na mangasar sila, wala lang ako sa mood na asarin kahit kanino ngayon...



atsaka...nagpapabili ako shu uemura, bebe, forever21 stuff kay myca sa singapore. un lang naman kaligayahan ko e. haha!



hmmmm...ayun! siguro ung closest description ng nafeefeel ko ngayon is disdain...



woot! gusto ko pumasok sa capitol tsaka dun sa south ekek sa may bf resort un e. kaso ung latter ang layo. swoosh. pero pwede din, solo kong titira sa bahay namin sa cavite. BOO! eh daming mumu dun. ayks. hahahaha!



eh nako, sarap na lang maging maganda, adorable at lovable (pagbigyan na kakapalan ng mukha, ngayon lang naman e) kasi pag down ka, and daming ready na icheer up ka...basta clear lang na true platonic ekek lang ang lahat...eh basta ayoko muna ng more than that. saklap e...hahaha! syet. yoko na. tama na blab.



sabi nung isa ko katext kanina, "nasayo na lahat...un lang bopol ka sa lovelife. u can't have it all nga talaga." uuuyy flattering haha. walang kukontra, pwede? next time na lang. haha



kagabi ko pa gusto sumayaw...sana mag-God's Kitchen or Armin kami sa Saturday. Tas sa Sunday magbaballroom kami ni tito, sana...kaso momove ata yung party nya sa 30 para dun na din sa bago nyang bahay. (oh ayan nanaman. hindi kami mayaman. mahirap lang kami. ung iba ko lang kamaganak. lubog na kami. haha! kita mo ngang wala na yung town & country atsaka iba pa e)



woot! sana bilan ako ni mommy nung lavender-ish-colored motorola! pang-sun ko! hahaha! sa pasko na ung SE p1...o kaya kahit wag na p1, MAC ibook na lang. toinks. ang sarap mangarap, tsong! hahaha



oh well...quote for the day: "I like DEAD END signs. I think they're kind. They at least have the decency to let you know you're going nowhere..." - Bugs Bunny



Baboosh na mga badoosh! shopping-shopping muna. hehehe



dep hits..ninuninuninu

fool again

i can't believe i let myself fall for it.......i should've known better. well, i knew better, but i've still let myself go for the free fall. ouch.

"it wasn't how i planned it... my feet are where i landed..."

plague -- Antipolo folks are all in the hospital, Medical City, ung iba Capitol. hai. isali niyo na din ako, oh, puhlease

woot! asked my mom to buy me 3 bags of flat tops woot! sawa na ko sa imported chocolates muna, flat tops, flat tops. woot!

kainis wala kong pambayad kay aris (gym instructor/trainer), i need elevated endorphines! since april, nagbabayad si mommy tas di ako pumupunta..hehe. bad.

back to the main topic. argh...*sigh*

as if i was born yesterday

i soooo hate it pag feeling ng mga tao bebenta sakin ung mga "alibi's" nila. hello?!

okay, moving along...inconsistency is a sign of hiding something or one is up to something, so if a guy shows such, blow him off na! dali sabihin, tsk. well, women's instincts nga diba sabi nila reliable naman? well, mine, so far is quite reliable naman so...i think his inconsistency's saying that he's juggling. but, sorry, i'm not willing to be one of the balls he juggles up in the air...kutob palang naman, once na-prove to. syet. syet. syet talaga.

which one would you...

prefer, be left hangin' not knowing what's going on, what happened, and if you're still waiting for something, or get dumped?

i prefer the latter. i know that it's sooo unusual for a girl to get dumped. well, i been left hanging not knowing, but i've never got dumped, so far. well, the reason behind it is, when i get dumped, at least i'll know that it's over, and i'll get the chance to figure out what went wrong, di ba?

syempre, as for guys, you'd want the same thing, right? kesa ung bigla na lang kayong iwasan. hehe. ayun, wala na ko masabi...lost for words again...back to the other side of my room and watch ally mcbeal. woot!

toodle-ooh mga badoosh!

boys will be boys

"men and their stupid boy penises" - grey's anatomy



boys will be boys, they will NEVER grow up. they can turn a hundred years old but still, 5-year old kiddo pa rin yan! they treat us, women, as commodities, na pag nakakita sila ng mas bago at much better na commodity, 'dun na sila.



Nakakainis pa e there are guys who try to convince us na they're different, pero hindi rin. What's the point? They're all the SAME! iba-ibang style at tactics lang 'yan, pero bottomline nun iisa lang. Iiwan ka din naman after a period of time, para que pa na iconvince ka nya na iba sya?



Pinakanakakainis lang, alam mo na ngang ganun, pag may dumating at icoconvince ka na iba sya, maniniwala ka nanaman ulit. ay nako, TANGA ko talaga. Nagpaulan ng katangahan, kagigising ko lang, ready to jog. kung talent lang to, pang-Guinness World Records na ako!



At syempre, as usual, dito ko to ipopost kesa sa multiply na mega magrereact ung barkada nung taga metrobank. sagwa ng buhay. pag feeling mo masaya ka na, in a split second, babawiin din. ay nako. in my face na katangahan ko nga! terible. hahaha



**i would like to thank Kat and Tiu kasi sakanila ko natuto na gamitin ang salitang "tanga", the word best describes me. hehehe. Dati kasi hindi ko s'ya masabi, parang forbidden word. haha



To think that only yesterday

I was cheerful, bright and gay

Looking forward to well wouldn't do

The role i was about to play

But as if to knock me down

Reality came around

And without so much, as a mere touch

Cut me into little pieces

Leaving me to doubt

Talk about god and his mercy

Or if he really does exist

Why did he desert me in my hour of need

I truly am indeed alone again, naturally



It seems to me that there are more hearts

Broken in the world that can't be mended

Left unattended

What do we do? what do we do?



At ito ang nakakatawang nakakainis, midst all these, I'm still hoping that somewhere, out there hinahanap din ako ng para sakin, ung kahit sablay ng onti, pero para sakanya, I'm the best among all the other commodities, na hindi nya pagpapalit kahit may ibang much better and newer ones na dumating.


Uhmmm...I haven't come to a point not to believe in God pa naman...I've my super duper tito jun who loves me so much...

ayun na naiyak na ko. haha! baboosh na mga badoosh!

shiznits

As I was watching Grey’s Anatomy earlier, I got hit by what Derek told Tatcher Grey about Meredith, "She’s tough. She tries to hide it. She’s difficult. But if you make an effort, she’s worth it. She’s worth the effort." I want a man or a guy who would say these about me. I want a guy who would me make me feel that I’m worth the effort. Not just for the sake of making me feel that way, but because that’s exactly what he feels about me, that I’m worth it. I’m difficult, extremely difficult. As what somebody told me, I look like a Persian cat. Well, I may be like a cat. Mailap sa una. (ayan, ayan, I’m all-blab nanaman)

‘Pag may nagreact dito na imposible ‘yun, well, you’re wrong. There was one guy who felt that way about me; at least I think he did. Kaya lang, things happened, he had to go away, I didn’t try harder in reciprocating his feelings for me. Basta maraming factors, which I don’t know I should regret. Pero ‘yun na ‘yun. And just when I thought I have a chance to feel that way again, I just ended up disappointed. Hindi naman ako nag-expect much from him, since we barely know each other. Plus, he isn’t really pining for me, ano lang…ewan. Pero basta hirap i-explain…Maybe what hurts is, I opened up the door for him, that maybe if I give this guy a chance, I could, I would errr…I don’t know. And that’s what hurts me, that he can’t be that guy. Gets? I didn’t want it to be just anyone; I wanted it to be him. But I guess he could never be that guy. Maybe he will be, but not for me. Kasi I believe that if a guy really, really likes someone, he’d do anything to keep her…if he thinks she’s all worth it. So there, maybe for him, I’m not worthy of his efforts, so I guess that’s the answer…So moving along…

So ayun, siguro there are guys out there nga na willing to be THE guy, but I’m just not willing to let them be the guy.

I’m not saying na gusto ko s’ya, pero I thought that there was a chance if we could get to know each other better, hang out or whatever people do these days…there’s a chance. Kung wala, at least be friends. Pero, ayun, parang wala, parang I’m not even worthy of para-sa-kaibigan time. I don’t usually care if people feel this way about me, but this time, I do. And it sucks.

Oh well, I wish him well.

sonic bomb...KABOOM!

sonicbomb nga ba yun, or is it sonicboom? okay, okay, whatever. I'm not much of a rakista anyway. Well, my brother is, but not me. My brother's the one who supplies me with rock songs, na maiintindihan ko pa yung lyrics. Ayaw na ayaw ko 'yung mga super duper sigaw or may sariling lenggwaheng rock music e. Para kasing noise na lang. Well, as I'm typing THESE letters, I'm listening to "It Ends Tonight" by the All American rejects which I got from my brother.

Okay, enough of the blab, let's go to the event I went to last night. I dunno, but I wasn't really in the mood of appreciating anything last night. Maybe the bands were okay naman, na sa akin 'yung sablay. Haha! If you're on friendster list, kita mo naman, nakared na pullover sweater ang lola n'yo. 'Di man lang nag-effort mag ala rakista eye make up. Which according to my good friend (well, s'ya lang yung kilala ko kagabi dun e. haha), Idang, soooo not like me. Well, I wasn't in the mood of dressing up din, I guess. Well, odd pero ewan. Super late ako (what's new?) 'yung nadatnan ko na band, parang nahulog sa balon tapos nagsusumigaw ng tulong. haha! Tapos, meron din yung femme vocalist, HIGH! isama mo pa 'yung guy host. Wala lang, I'm not a fan of chemical fun, I guess. Not my cup of tea, ganun. Tapos meron pa 'yung ala-tunog tao 'yung ginawa n'ya, which was good naman, superbly okay nga e. Naaliw lang ako kasi ung pants nya parang doble ng pants ko, katumbas n'ya dalawang tao! Ang laki promise. Sorry kung ganun magreact...Madami kasing sakit pag ganun kataba. hehe!

Erk, actually, wala akong masyadong mashare dun sa event kasi 'yung utak ko nasa Uranus. Basta late ako dumating, nauna din ako umalis. Haha! San ka pa?! (2 yrs. back, sabi nina Bam, english nyan, "where u at?" haha! pero syempre ekek lang yun) Manang Ylla in the making na ako. Shiznits.

I appreciate rock music naman e. Staind, Incubus, and the above-mentioned are rock bands naman di ba? I think. haha! Basta di ko lang keri ung mega sigaw, mega hi-hello tonsils pero wala akong magets. haha! oh, sorry, sorry, redundant na ako.

It's almost 4am, my mind is tired, my body's exhausted, pero I'm still wide awake. as in. Well, as I said earlier, I was listening to "It Ends Tonight" kanina...but no, As oppose to what the songs suggests, I don't want it to end tonight. Mega super estupida ko kasi, OA. Oh well, things have been said and done na, whatever might come out of what happened, tanggapin na lang...Kakainis. Maybe sad days are really coming...Oh well, "Hey there froggy*! Bring on the sadness na, I'm ready. Just make it fast lang. Ayoko ng killing me softly ang drama...I have a life to live, you know." Oh c'mon, virtual whatever, dapat virtual sadness lang. But this doesn't feel virtual to me. Haha! (Imaginary as what Antots calls it...so let's rephrase: imaginary whatever lang, dapat imaginary sadness lang. pero this doesn't feel imaginary to me.)

Haha! Whatever is out there must be joking. Just when I said I'm taking a break from waiting, aba'y waiting in vain all along pa rin ang scenario ko. Hahahaha! This not the silly, nakakatuwa, nakakaaliw funny ha? This one's the ridiculously stupid funny. Pathetic! haha!

To the people I was with last night, I'm so, soooo, sooooo sorry. You guys were great (It's not you, it's me ang eksena dito. hihi), medyo topak lang. In fairness naman 'dun sa set up ni Idang na wala man lang warning na may palang eksena, cute naman s'ya. He studies in CEU din, taking up BS Medical Technology...pero parang hindi s'ya mukhang familiar...eh sa dinami-dami ng kilala ko sa BSMT, bakit ganun? Tapos ako nakikita nila, sila di ko nakikita? haha! Anyway, Idang, bawi next time. Basta pag may ganung ekek, i-orient mo ko beforehand ha!

And again, another gimmick na mabibilang sa daliri kung ilang salita lang nasabi ko. Teehee.

Wooot! It's the first day of September. So it's official, beggining of -ber months is here! Christmas is drawing near! Yey! That's one good thing to look forward to, right? Hai, time flies sooooo fast. Birthday ko lang kahapon, September na ngayon! Haha! hyperbole. hahaha! Exagge!!! Today's my aunt's birthday, btw. And on Sunday, there will be a family thing to celebrate my mom's birthday, which was yesterday, and Tita V's. Yey! I get too see and play with Pia and Yanna again! I so love kids, super


P.S.
Re posting pictures here, will think about it pa. Kasi nawala sa drive ko ung script na di pwede mag right click e.

Sino nakakaalam nung "You" by Athena Cage ata 'yun? Taas ang isang strand ng kilay! hehe. joke!


---
*the frog in my dream symbolizes sadness daw kasi. Which I refuse to believe pa rin kasi ung dream na isa pa na feeling ko connected dun e bata na.

tagpi-tagpi, let's connect!

okay, here are my tagpi-tagpi thoughts...bear with me na lang. you know, bear, the oso! haha kiddin!

let's start with the...


TAWIWIW...

Okay, got this idea from the "will you be my spongebob" proposal i read from girltalk...Wouldn't it be sooooo mega sweet to be proposed nang, " Will you be my tawiwiw?" Haha! *giggles* Oh well, pangyakap ang tawiwiw, so, parang, kung pwede na sya lang pwede yumakap sa'yo? haha ganun ba gusto kong sabihin? ah basta. it's superbly sweet!
so that's it, nalost ako ulit...


WEIRD DREAMS

Few days ago, can't remember when, basta this week lang din, I dreamt of a frog...Ikwento ko ng maayos, chronologically...ayon sa naaalala ko

sa isang puting kwarto, may mga tao, may sinasandalan akong tao, at nakahulata kaming lahat sa matress sa sahig. tapos may dumating na palaka sumandal dun sa nakahulata sa tapat ko, which made the palaka na katapat ko na. Tapos may nagtext sakin, (dun sa n73) may sinabing pangalan, tas inannounce ko 'yung pangalan, parang, "Asan daw si *frog's name here*?", tas parang anticipated ko na 'yung frog 'yung magrereact. Tapos 'yung frog nga sabi n'ya s'ya 'yun, tapos I forgot na what happened, kinulit n'ya ko na gusto nya ko lapitan. E super ewwness para sakin mga frogs, hinahampas ko s'ya ng unan to keep him from hopping towards me. Nung nabull's eye ko si froggy, saktong tumalon na s'ya sakin! Tapos pasigaw ako nun, ung sigaw ko, gising na ko, yakap ung unan kong mahaba. hehe!

Ito naman 'yung panaginip ko ngayon...ayon sa naaalala ko lang, ulit

Sumakay ako ng FX, ako lang ung nakasakay all through out nung byahe, tapos may katext ako, na imeemeet ko sa lugar na mukhang PHILCOA (i think...), na puti ung paligid, again. then ang nadatnan ko dun e batang pulubi. E ayaw na ayaw ko ung direct contact sa pulubi...as in skin to skin o kahit garments. (eehh..sorry, pero ganun e.) Tapos kinukulit n'ya ako, to keep him away, hinahampas ko raw sya ng unan (direk, san galing 'yung unan?!) Tapos paatras lang kami ng paatras habang hinahampas ko s'ya. Ganunan lang tas nasa kalye na kami, hanggang next thing I know, nasa ibang lugar na ako, tapos wala na akong wallet. Naisip ko na binigay ko yata 'dun sa bata para tigilan n'ya ako.

So, feeling ko connected sila..Kasi, ung puting walls, text/cellphone, may mangungulit na nilalang na ayaw ko dikitan ako, unan as panghampas. Di ba? so ayun...naobsess daw ba sa panaginip? Haha! Oh well, feeling ko these dreams are trying to tell me something e...ano kaya 'yun? Wutcha guys think?


Deception

"The truth hurts...so we lie."

Screw that! Being told with the truch sure does hurt. But what hurts more is that when the people you care about lie to you, and you just pretend to believe it para tapos na usapan. Hello!? Di ba nga, we can;t lie to people who care about us. Because when you care about a person, you'll know when the person's lying, di ba? So why won't we just quit lying and tell the freakin' truth?! At least you'd get hurt, get over it and move on. Okay na. Pero being lied to is a whole different story. sasama loob mo ng matagal, walang katapusan, hanggang sa mapuno ka na lang and it's over. Cause you see, it's the thing that destroys all sorts of relationships, be it friendship, romantic relationship, lahat na. basta ako, i'd rather be disappointed and hurt with the truth than be fucked up with a lie.

when BOREDOM strikes!

Pag walang pera--

when I'm bored, which is an everyday thing for me already, I browse through the stack of DVD's and look for something I haven't seen, or something I want to watch even if I've seen it na. I also forward mass messages to my friends. Woot! Super thanks to Globe Unlitxt ha! At pag may katext, edi mega reply sa katext. Okay din ang maghanap ng katelebabad sa landline. "yung mag-uusok na yung tenga nyo, wala nang mapagusapan, mega-kalkal ng kung anu-anong bagay para lang may mapagusapan pa! O kaya naman, tumanga sa harap ng PC, magsasasagot ng surveys sa Friendster bulletin board, magpopopost ng kung anu-ano sa girltalk, mangealam ng blog/friendster profile ng iba, at kung anu- ano pa. Pwede ring sabay-sabay yang lahat nang 'yan. Haha! At pag super hopeless na, makipagtitigan kay kaibigang kisame habang nakahulata sa kama na lang. Super fun, di ba?

Pag may pera--

ito ang masaya, may pera. Haha! Syempre, shopping is on top of my list!! Next would be panggugulo ng mga friends at yayain sila gumimick. O kaya naman manood ng movie, lumamon, magkape habang nagchichikahan, at kung anu-ano pa.

Actually, madaming pwedeng gawin ang taong bored pag may anda. Pero...mas masarap ikwento ung mga bagay na nagagawa pag wala. Di ba? Hehe!

E Ikaw? What do you do when you're bored?

errr...

I get soooo pissed when someone doesn't stick to his/her word. I mean, man! Kung wala kang balak tuparin, wag ka na magsalita, di ba? Gawin mo na lang! Wala lang. Kaka-disappoint...he nako, bahala na. inis ako! Mabilis ako mainis, mabilis mawala. Pero pag 'yun naipon, good luck na lang.

Oh well, it's my mom's birthday. I wasn't able to get her anything, hopefully later when she goes to work...

Ugh. wala, wala, wala ako sa mood. Nek taym na itech. Baboosh mga badoosh!


P.S.
Tataka kayo biglang nabuhay blog ko 'no? Ngayon ko lang naisipan, e since mga July pa kong bumnation...Haha! Multiply kasi hi-hello agad sa contacts mo ung blog e. Sooo...dito na uli. Grrrr...inis pa rin. Tutulog ko na lang 'to, o inonood ng Grey's Anatomy, na halos memorize ko na mga linya nila...kailan kaya kami uli bibili bagong sets of kapiratahan? haha! sooo yun, totoo na 'to. toodles mga badoosh!

dose of sanity

Most of my friends are aware of how dysfunctional my family is. And as we all know, we don't get to choose our family. Whether we like it or not, they are our family. Well, at least, we get to choose our friends, right? And I'm glad I have few great friends. Oh well, as most of you know, I really didn't like the idea of going to CEU, but these people made my stay there worthwhile. These = Kat, Rochelle, Valerie, Lianne, Che among all others (sorry sa mga di nabanggit, pero sila naman kasi talaga ung on top of my list), pero sige sama natin si Pareng Ogie. In times of desperations, frustrations, depressions, heartbreaks, lahat na, sila ung madalas na andun to keep me sane...Without them, I could've gone crazy na, and had ended up in a mental asylum noon pa. Kung baga, sila ung "happy pills" ko. Narecall ko tuloy ung sinabi ni Meredith Grey about getting high during hotshot surgeries, bakit daw meron pang nagddrugs? Well, for me, having a great time, great laughter with my friends - they're enough to make me high na! Lalo na kung may alcohol on the side. haha! kiddin! Basta I'm soooo lucky to have such great people at my side. Though syempre normal lang na may times na they get too busy with their lives and i have to face everything on my own.

Moving along...syempre, I also have my ate Bajah and her beloved papu, Reggie, Papa Porky, Bongky, and the rest of the gang for more mature POV's. Syempre iba pa rin ung manggagaling sa may mas experience nang mga tao. Love 'em..super! I also have these few friends from my high school, though we rarely get in touch na. Well, nakakatext ko na lang e si Allen and Alejandre, and recently si Joecel. Looking back, Marami-rami akong friends sa dati kong school, pero ilan-ilan lang ung nag-stick hanggang ngayon...And hindi ako masyadong makapaniwala na Allen, though she's my best friend, would be one of them. Kasi nga di ba nagkaron kami ng medyo great distances nung nagkahiwalay kami ng section, nagkahiwalay ng barkada's, nagkararon ng issues between us. And I'm glad that after all that, we're still here, being best friends. 8 years and counting...yeehaaa!! *Love you so much best friend!*

And of course, pwede ba namang di mabanggit ang Katipunan hunks? Bam, Pao, Jay, Steve, DJ, lahat sila? Esp. Bam na naging super close ko this year. He's the greatest guy friend I ever have! Promise. He's the best! He's my tequila, mai tai, kurant7, soju, vodka ice, bacon asparagus buddy! Sa inuman, movie, sa gimmick, sa katahimikan, simangot times, kasama sila. At syempre, si Mareng Tina na nameet ko the night before my birthday..We've gone pretty close simula nung party ni Jam and Ivan nung 07-07-07.

ANd how can I forget to mention my SSB family, esp Sally...solid kami ng mare kong 'to! kahit kaming dalawa lang, go lang! mapa-UP man, shangrila plaza o kahit saan! Basta motto namin, "Don't settle for anything less....payless." haha! kuno. joke lang yung payless. hihi. go, go, go! matirang matibay samin!

Oooops...may isa pa akong best friend, ung inagawa ko sa dati kong crush! My big buddha best friend, Oliver James!! Parang si Mama Kat, sermon ang madalas nakukuha ko dito. Ouch, pero totoo...Sobrang huggable ito! Kung shoulder to lean on din, s'ya na yun! Malambot-lambot na shoulder ang masasandalan mo! yikeee! Miss this guy. The last time I saw him was during my party pa. *OJ: Sorry about Peter. Nakainom ata s'ya nun, masyadong derecho...so derecho din ng onti ung sagot ko. pero at least, di ba? see you soon! sana!*

At syempre, and DYOSA NG KARAGATAN, Antots! my movie-coffee-dinner buddy! Alam mo 'yun, kumustahan lang tas biglang, "Tara! movie tayo!" haha! at natatiming na may boy drama ako, at syempre ang lola, the best sa boy drama's!

Hindi naman ako masyadong nagmayabang about my friends? Well, mababaw lang kaligayan ko e. Masaya ako pag naaalala nila ako...hehe! Nung nagtext nga isa sakanila, na sobrang timing, naiyak ako. Parang kabit-kabit na super mga intestines namin kaya kahit 'di ka magsabi, gets ka nila. Waaah basta, I;m sooooooo glad of having them...as the title says, they're my doses of sanity. Without them, I would've lost my mind na. Being such a weakling that I am. Awww...:) Thanks GUYS! Thanks for accepting me as such a pain in the ass, the brattinela that I am. hehe!

i had a son...

oh yeah, you heard (errr...read? haha) that right. I had a son, when I was in high school. Kaya lang they (oooh...THEY...haha!) took him away from me. Boohoo. He was such an angel pa naman, and I was such a great mom to him. Promise. Gwapo-gwapo pa my litol (teehee) boy...Uy proud momma. Pero seriously, gwapo talaga sya. Hispanic-mestizo kind of gwapo. Well, ako nanay eh.

Nyahaha! People from high school must be very very puzzled by now. Because they never seen me pregnant. Alangang nabuntis ako over summer break tapos nanganak na agad. haha!! Malala pa sa immaculate conception 'yun..nabuntis and nanganak over the summer break which is less than two months lang. Haha! Okay, I'm not the boy's biological mother...But how I wish na ako na lang. Hahaha! I was only 15 years old then, my folks would've killed me if I got pregnant. haha! Pero dapat aampunin namin 'yun as my boy e. Kaya lang, 'yun nga, I was too young. Sad. Boohoo. As in sa birth certificate, ako na 'yung lalagay na mommy. O kaya 'yung mom ko tapos aadopt ko na lang when i grow older. Kasi I was his mom na kaya noon. The baby slept in my room, I'm the one who fed him (errr..bottle po, malamang. hello?), We watched the TV together, etcetera. Pag nagalburoto s'ya ng late night, puyat ako no...kahit may pasok. Hehe! Ako 'yung alam nyang mommy nya. hehe. Kahit kasama namin sa bahay 'yung real mom (anak ng kasama namin sa bahay ung biological mother) Kaya lang as usual, kumontra sina tito and tita...eh the baby's folks can't afford to raise/support him kaya they have to give him away (adoption...), so they had hid adopted by a priest's sister. Waaaah...super duper mega cry ako nun ha! Almost a year akong nanay to that boy. awww. Ayun, I think of him from time to time...miss ko na. as in. Huling balita namin dun was before we left Cavite, nasa States na daw baby boy ko...*sob*

Wala lang...4 or 5 years old na dapat s'ya ngayon...nag-school na. What does he look like na kaya? Will I see him pa kaya? OA e no. akala mo nanay nya ko talaga. pero I loved that little kiddo as my own. well, inde nga loved kasi...til now nga! hehe.

I used to hum him this to sleep...minsan may 'onting lyrics, pero chorus lang. teehee

You Are My Sunshine

You Are My Sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other nite, dear,
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear,
I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

I'll always love you
And make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me
To love
regret it all some day;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

You told me once, dear
You really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you've left
And love
You have shattered all my dreams;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Louisiana my Louisiana
the place where I was borne.
White fields of cotton
-- green fields clover,
best fishingand long tall corn;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Crawfish gumbo and jambalaya
the biggest shrimp and sugar cane,
the finest oystersand sweet strawberries
from Toledo Bend to New Orleans;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

I am such a sinner!

As we, children of God know the seven deadly sins are:



1.1 Lust (Latin, luxuria)
1.2 Gluttony (Latin, gula)
1.3 Greed (Latin, avaritia)
1.4 Sloth (Latin, acedia)
1.5 Wrath (Latin, ira)
1.6 Envy (Latin, invidia)
1.7 Pride (Latin, superbia)



And my favorite sin from them is Gluttony. I sooo love to eat, I have such a huge appetite! I'm such a lamonera, totally. While sloth comes a close second placer. Well, all my friends know how lazy I am, and how I hate it that I am. But ooooh gawd, it's sooo hard to beat it, laziness. Ganda ng combination di ba? matakaw tapos tamad. okay, okay, imagine...*moment of silence* tada! haha!



I am sooo such a bad person! How can be anyone (well, as you can see...me.) be proud of these sinful indulgences? eeeek! I munch and munch even if I'm not actually hungry, I grab chocolates even I already had too much of it. (oooh how I love chocolates!) I eat ice cream whether the weather is sizzling hot or cozy cold...I can consume a half gallon of it in one sitting!! I eat two servings of green salad or whatever salad all to myself, and I'm still not satisfied...and the blabbing of the way and the amount I eat goes on...and on...



Okay, so there were times when my not-so-close classmates suspected me of being into chemical stuff. hello!? it doesn't mean that they get fat, i should to. eh sa i don't e...payat na ko talaga. maybe until i get older and my metabolism slows down...oh well, at least my belly bulges when i eat. un lang tumataba saken e. TYAN, omigash! haha! sagwa!!!



The reason why I begged my mom to enroll me at planet infinity, which by the way, hindi ko na napupuntahan since april ata! pero tuloy ang ligaya sa pagcharge kay mommy. hehe. so dun papasok ang katamaran!



**oops. the conversation i'm having with my friend is getting a little more serious by the second...i've to pay attention to this one muna. u know the sanctity of marriage, blah-blah. alam n'yo naman ako, feeling righteous pagdating sa gantong bagay. ngeks. toodles mga badoosh!**

Todd and his Tawiwiw

I have a friend whose name is Todd, and he has a tawiwiw. Now, What is a tawiwiw? Okay, According to Todd, it's a hotdog-ish pillow, (can you picture what I'm saying here? I'm not really good in describing as well as visualizing things e) you know, the huggable but not-so-huggable-because-it's-medyo-payat kind of pillow. actually, the way you pronounce its name is a lot cuter than what a tawiwiw actually looks like, IMO. haha! That when I learned about this word, errr..term, I enjoyed saying it all over again, even when I was eating my beloved chocolates..

And can you imagine someone, esp a guy who's like 20-ish and (as told by Reggie, our common friend) quite tall, holding a tawiwiw? haha! i kinda laughed at the thought of it. well, i didn't laugh because it's silly kind of funny, but a nakakatuwa kind of funny...the cute kind of funny. aliw!

errr...Aliw?!? He Zzzzzz'd me!!! Am I supposed to be aliw with him?!?!? <-- NOT! well, I am not mad at him because of that, inis lang... But still, aliw na aliw ako up to this moment sa "tawiwiw". soooo cute!! haha!

**I'm having a hard time putting all my thoughts in here the way i want to, because I am talking to a former classmate as I am typing this. I should've written/typed this entry last night e..inis. Screw my katamaran, sooo hate it.**